How We Keep Our Marriage Strong While Raising a Baby

I was listening to a parenting podcast one day—as I often do—when one sentence stopped me in my tracks.

“Don’t sacrifice your marriage on the altar of parenting”

It struck a chord. Not because we had done that, but because it reminded me how easy it is to let it happen without meaning to.

Before becoming parents, my husband and I made a quiet decision. We would protect our union. We would not trade our marriage for busyness, pressure, or even financial gain. Our faith comes first. Our marriage comes next. Everything else flows from there.

Now, with a baby in the picture, that commitment matters even more.

Marriage doesn’t fall apart after children—not suddenly, not dramatically. It fades in small ways when it isn’t tended to. We’ve learned that staying grounded in this new season isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about the not-so-little things we choose daily.

Here’s what has helped us keep our marriage strong while raising a baby.

• We check in daily, even if it’s just five minutes

Some days are full. Some days are exhausting. But we still ask:

“How are you?”
“What do you need today?”

Even a short check-in reminds us that we’re partners first, parents second.

• We choose softness

Parenting is tiring. Emotions run close to the surface. We’ve learned that tone matters. Gentleness protects our connection more than being right ever could.

• We share responsibilities as a team

There’s no scoreboard here. No “who did more.” We show up where we can, when we can and however we can per time. Parenthood works best when it feels shared, not scored.

• We make room for fun

When the weather keeps us from our favorite sports and our ongoing attempts at lawn tennis, we turn to VR shadow boxing that takes us around the world from our living room. Fun doesn’t have to be fancy—it just needs to remind you why you enjoy each other.

• We pray together

We’re still growing in this, but our faith continues to ground us when emotions feel loud and days feel heavy. Prayer centers our hearts and reminds us that we’re not carrying this season alone. After all, we are simply stewards of the gift we’ve been given.

• We give each other grace

We’re learning. We’re tired sometimes. We miss things. Grace keeps our hearts open and our home peaceful. It allows growth without resentment.

Raising a baby is sacred work. But so is nurturing a marriage. We believe a strong family starts with a strong union—and a strong marriage is built in ordinary moments, quiet choices, and intentional love.

We don’t strive for perfection, we strive;

For presence.
For faith.
For partnership.

And in this season of diapers, late nights, and new beginnings, we are choosing—every day— not to place our marriage on the altar of parenting, but to let it be the foundation that holds everything else.